The Homo-Homemaker

The ULTIMATE Lasagne!

2012-02-03T10:13:00.000Z

I have a new Facebook page, so please like me by clicking here...if you were already following me on there then you would have seen that I used my new Baker's Edge Lasagne Pan for the first time yesterday! This amazing pan was one of Oprah's All Time Favourite Things, and was on my WishList a few months ago, for a picture of the pan and my finished lasagne then check out my new Facebook page.

Below is a recipe I adapted from food.com for an Ultimate Lasagne, it is not friendly to the waistline but is delicious as a rare treat. It serves 6 - 8 people.

Ingredients:
820g Lean Beef Mince
270g Italian Sausage Meat (if you can't find it, Sainsbury's do Sicilian Sausages that you can use)
2 large onions
2 garlic cloves
2 teaspoons dried parsley
2 teaspoons dried oregano
2 teaspoons dried basil
3 teaspoons granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cans chopped tomatoes
400g tomato puree/paste
410g Ricotta cheese
400g Cream cheese
2 beaten eggs
1 teaspoon black pepper
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
80g grated parmesan cheese
275g mozzarella cheese
100g cheddar cheese (grated)
100g Red Leicester cheese (grated)
Fresh lasagne sheets

Directions:
- Brown the beef mince, onions and sausage meat with crushed garlic cloves and a little olive oil
- Add salt, all the dried herbs, sugar, chopped tomatoes, tomato puree and black pepper
- Simmer for 1 hour
- Beat together the ricotta, cream cheese, eggs, fresh parsley, parmesan and half the mozzarella
- In a lasagne pan, layer the lasagne sheets, meat sauce and then cheese mixure and repeat.
- Top off with a layer of noodles, the rest of the mozzarella, cheddar and the red leicester cheeses.
- Bake at 180 degrees for 45 - 60 minutes

I served it with a fresh parsley and rocket salad. It was delicious!

HH x

A short story

2012-01-23T14:48:00.001Z

I am sat in what is becoming "my space"- our guest room. The author Toni Morrison once explained how we all need to own something, or a space and have that time to ourselves and revel in it. She owned her writing, others own a yoga session or just sitting quietly in the garden. Somewhere where it is all yours and is uninterrupted. So I am sat here on the bed, reading and with the sounds of a sailing boat playing through my meditation app.

I came across a beautiful old Hasidic tale which gave me a lightbulb moment whilst sat here, and it is so beautiful that I wanted to share it, there are many ways to interpret it, let me know yours via Twitter (@homohomemaker) or email me on homohomemaker@gmail.com....

' A rabbi had a conversation with the Lord about Heaven and Hell. "I will show you Hell," said the lord and led the rabbi into a room containing a large round table. The people sitting around the table were famished and desperate. In the middle of he table was an enormous pot of stew which smelled so delicious that the rabbi's mouth watered. Each person around the table held a spoon with a very long handle. Although the long spoons just reached the pot, their handles were longer than the would-be diners' arms: thus, unable to bring food to their lips, no one could eat. The rabbi saw that their suffering was terrible indeed.

"Now I will show you heaven," said the Lord, and they went into another room, exactly the same as the first. There was the same large round table, the same pot of stew. The people, as before, were equipped with the same long-handled spoons- but here everyone was well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The rabbi could not understand. "It is simple, but it requires a certain skill," said the Lord. "In this room, you see, they have learned to feed each other." '

HH x

How to change your life

2012-01-20T12:01:00.002Z

A lot of you out there have expressed how brave I am for telling my story. I do not accept that I am any braver than any of the rest of you. We all have the power in us to set the truth free- whether it be the truth about our pasts, the truth about our weight, addictions or just being really honest about how we are feeling. I've mentioned the power of positivity a hell of a lot (that blog post was the first to hit over 200 page views in 24 hours- it obviously struck a chord!)- and lots of you asked, as I did- how on earth do you be positive all the time?

Well nobody is. It is impossible to be positive 100% of the time, but it is possible to try and be positive all the time- I've spoken about gratitude and saying thank-you in the darkest of times (see "Our Energy") but being honest and true to yourself goes hand in hand with that gratitude to up the positivity levels in our lives.

Honesty is the best policy in any situation, but most certainly when looking at yourself and into your soul, we need to understand our hearts and what they really want in order to know what we need to do to make our lives more positive. I'm not a huge fan of criticising yourself, and that is certainly not what I am talking about, I'm talking about evaluating your soul, think of it as spiritual upkeep- we try to look after our physical health and well-being, so why not our soul? So here is my plan on what you can do, to get started in a new positive direction:

STEP ONE- Gratitude Journal
As mentioned here, gratitude journals are the best way of giving and receiving more gratitude in your lives, the link explains how to start one. What I ask of you whilst starting this journey, is to write down at least two spiritual things to be thankful for, as well as three material or physical things. For the record, spiritual doesn't necessarily mean religion- it is all about your soul, when have you experienced something that truly took your breath away? A moment in nature, a moment of realisation or just sensing something, click here for a great article on how different people interpret spirituality.

STEP TWO- Saying Thank-you!

The title says it all. Say thank-you. All the time! No matter what it is you are thankful for, just say it- whether it be in a shop, a restaurant, the bank or just saying thank-you for being alive. The hard bit is saying thank you when times are hard, because you know you are strong enough to get through it, and you know that there is always goodness on the other side.

STEP THREE - Be Honest and ask yourself...

Look at your life. Don't critique your physical self, just your soul and spiritual self. And ask yourself in every area of your life (home, job/career, relationships and friendships) is this nourishing my soul? How can I make it better? And then give yourself a check-up!

Nourishing your soul- ask yourself if you are getting anything from this job, friendship or living environment. Be Honest. Are you giving your all? Why aren't you? Are you expecting too much, or are you getting too little for what you are putting in? Again, be honest with this section- you need to be honest to identify the key obstacles for the next question.

How you can make it better- Look at where you are feeling negativity in your life and try to find out why and how you can improve it. Are you not enjoying this area of your life because you aren't investing enough into it? What is stopping you? Do you feel you are a negative influence, or are you surrounding yourself with negative influences? Never let other people's opinions or negativity to affect you- you can walk away or choose to not listen to them, instead of joining in or being affected by them. This section is all about looking at what you can do to make areas of your life more positive. Only you can change your path and only you are responsible for your life's direction- as Oprah says- "You have the power".

Check-up- you go to the doctor and dentist for a check-up, even your car gets a check-up, but why not your soul? Re-assess your career goals- is your job helping you to reach them? Relationships- are you feeling loved or left out? This part is all about combining the first two questions and about using those to set yourself clear life goals, and check-points. Always allow yourself time to regularly check up on your progress- and treat yourself when you have a good check-up!

These three steps are a sure fire way to gain morepositivity in your life and lower the negativity- it is a slow process but youwill feel the difference. I started to think like this around September lastyear and I'm still only part way through my journey- I am re-training, movinghouse and taking a few holidays this year. I realised that for too long I havebeen punishing myself for not going to university and had been working too hardto get promotions that deep down, I didn’t really want and in jobs that weren’tfeeding my soul. I quoted a while ago that you should receive energy from whatyou are doing, it shouldn’t drain you- and that is too true. I realised I wasn’tcongratulating myself for all I had achieved, and I wasn’t taking any realbreaks to appreciate anything else other than work and money.

After having a check-up, my ultimate goal is to openmy own counselling and psychotherapy practice…something I am on track to do. Iwant a family, a warm welcoming home, and to travel to India and China. I wantto make a difference and I will. But all along this journey I will be followingmy own (and Oprah’s!) advice and those three steps- I will be grateful for all I have, say thank-you, be honest to my soul and know that I always have the power tocontrol my own life.

HH x

Email me: homohomemaker@gmail.com
Tweet me: @homohomemaker

LGBT Domestic Abuse - My Story (with feedback)

2012-01-19T14:57:00.001Z

I wanted to include here, some of the amazing feedback I've had from across the internet since writing "LGBT Domestic Abuse- My Story". I think all too often, society believes the lives of gay people are fun and carefree when that is not always the case, and that domestic abuse has to include physical violence. It doesn't. Love should never hurt physically or mentally- a point I learnt myself the hard way. The original article will follow this beautiful feedback, and don't forget you can email me or tweet me at any time...

"I read this story yesterday I admit I had tears in my eyes. You are very brave to admit what happened and tell your story."

"A survivors story. If you can identify with this story, you need to take action!" - DV Help West Midlands

"Glad to see that you have been able to start again. It is never easy to leave those you love." - Sgt Peter Allen, West Sussex Police

"it really is a moving blog entry. I recognise some of it. Amazing how it doesn't just happen to the young."

"A brave, frank blog post."

"thanks so much for sharing, I have been in that place,thankfully out & rebuilding but still those memories linger x"

"Very brave of you to write that. You poor thing. Take care x"

"Recommended reading" - Thai LGBT Forum

"I love your blog, the fact that you are so honest with us, has given at least one reader the hope that one day my prince will come."

LGBT Domestic Abuse- My Story

I want to add my voice to the thousands of LGBT men and women around the country who have suffered at the hands of a partner.

Moving out at 16 was never something that would have been easy. For the record- I was lucky to have loving parents who supported me, I chose to move in with a man I believed to be the love of my life, he was older than me. Whether it is something about being gay and an outcast that made me feel I needed to be away from home and start a new life with 'my kind', I don't know. I also don't know why alarm bells never rang in my head when everyone told me he was bad, or when he told me he was going to dump me if I didn't move out for him. What is it with being a teenager in love? You seem to block out anything logical and completely lead with your heart.

It took only a few months before it began. The funny thing about being in an abusive relationship is the way that abuse creeps up on you. For months and months it starts to seep into your everyday life, until wham- suddenly it is there and is now unavoidable, those building blocks have been coming along deceitfully for months until a whole wall is there. I still don't completely know when it started- it was so gradual, but I do know that I suddenly found myself in a strange town not trusted to go out, forced to clean when he purposely left mess everywhere, so i'd "have something to do" and having no money of my own.

The family I loved so much, I suddenly saw less of- any excuse he would have me cancel on them, he told me how my parents didn't really love me and they were happy I was gone. How they talked and laughed about me to him and his family. I believed every word he said. I started to feel more isolated and alone, more than I ever thought I would. I was told to stay at home instead of go to college- he would get mad if I left to go and study and more often than not, when I was out he spent that time looking for a new guy or sleeping with a new guy. He was allowed to get drunk, but as things went on it was made clear to me that I wasn't allowed to have fun, or a life.

After a few months of him sleeping with or chatting to other men, I started to get screamed at, humiliated and made to feel paranoid- he loved seeing me so weak. His other favourite game was to push me to my limits so I'd shout back, scream, run away or lash out- so he could hit me, throw things at me and then say I started it. I was told this is how a normal gay relationship is, how the police wouldn't do anything as we were gay- or worse, I'd be in trouble because I had started it. I continually sliced my arms and skin open as a release, and he would squeeze the scars to make them bleed more and laugh or scream in my face as I cried.

But I loved him. He hurt me, he isolated me and told me nobody else would want me. So I had to love him- who else was there? Love shouldn't hurt, and I was about to realise that.

It was coming up to my 18th Birthday, and I had a big party planned. Fancy dress. Friends over. Drink and lots of dancing! He was late, on purpose. He refused to dress up. He refused to talk to me. He wanted me to get everyone to leave. I ignored him and continued to have fun with my friends- but as most people left, I paid for it. I tried to hug him, he tried to shout at me. He punched me in the stomach. Suddenly I saw white. I had this warm feeling of anger I had never had, rush over me. I wanted to kill him. I really did. I had suffered at his hands for so long and I wanted it to end. I can honestly say if it wasn't for my amazing best friend who heard the screaming, I don't know if I would have come out alive or if he would have. She was my angel.

This was the final wake-up call. I was humiliated someone had seen what I was going through and humiliated I lost control of myself which gave him more of a hold over me. One day a few days later, I was clearing through some things and found some old school work. That was my 'aha' moment. I woke up. I realised if I could achieve back then, I can achieve now. I was worth something then, I am still worth something.

I packed my bags...as much as I could physically carry. Then stalled. I binge ate- my new coping mechanism instead of self harm. He came home. For reasons I do not know, I begged him to make everything better, something I'm ashamed of now. He put me in his car, drove me to my parents and left me. I do not know if he had realised how he had destroyed me, or if a higher being was helping me that night, or even if he thought i'd just come running back. I didn't.

It took years for me to get over him. I continued to see him, I wasn't ready to cut all ties. But then one day, I knew I was ready- and, three years on, I haven't spoken to him or seen him since. I guess he was an addiction, and like many addictions- no matter how much you know it is bad for you, sometimes it takes a while to break free. Some people never do.

Looking back, I wish many things. But I can't change them. I should have pressed charges, I should have left sooner, I shouldn't have moved in the first place. I've come to be grateful- grateful I got out, grateful I am alive, grateful it made me who I am. I am a work in progress, although I have rested my demons and am ready to forgive- I'm not perfect and I still get haunted by it, but my life of living in fear is over, and I will help others with what I went through. I do not want sympathy. I do not want judging. The only thing I want is for this story shared, to have made a difference in someone's life.

If any of the above sounds like you, or if you are a friend and you suspect anything. Speak up. Get out. You can get over it, you can rebuild your life and you will be free.

Love doesn't hurt.

HH x

Help and support: Click Here

Email me: Click Here

LGBT Domestic Abuse - My Story

2012-01-18T12:24:00.000Z

A few months ago, I spoke about the importance of telling your story and sharing your experiences- writing down the novel of your life. The importance of this for all of us is astounding- I believe we can learn more from each other than we could ever learn through schools, documentaries or the internet. Your story can speak out to someone, change their way of thinking, or even change their life.

I want to add my voice to the thousands of LGBT men and women around the country who have suffered at the hands of a partner.

Moving out at 16 was never something that would have been easy. For the record- I was lucky to have loving parents who supported me, I chose to move in with a man I believed to be the love of my life, he was older than me. Whether it is something about being gay and an outcast that made me feel I needed to be away from home and start a new life with 'my kind', I don't know. I also don't know why alarm bells never rang in my head when everyone told me he was bad, or when he told me he was going to dump me if I didn't move out for him. What is it with being a teenager in love? You seem to block out anything logical and completely lead with your heart.

It took only a few months before it began. The funny thing about being in an abusive relationship is the way that abuse creeps up on you. For months and months it starts to seep into your everyday life, until wham- suddenly it is there and is now unavoidable, those building blocks have been coming along deceitfully for months until a whole wall is there. I still don't completely know when it started- it was so gradual, but I do know that I suddenly found myself in a strange town not trusted to go out, forced to clean when he purposely left mess everywhere, so i'd "have something to do" and having no money of my own.

The family I loved so much, I suddenly saw less of- any excuse he would have me cancel on them, he told me how my parents didn't really love me and they were happy I was gone. How they talked and laughed about me to him and his family. I believed every word he said. I started to feel more isolated and alone, more than I ever thought I would. I was told to stay at home instead of go to college- he would get mad if I left to go and study and more often than not, when I was out he spent that time looking for a new guy or sleeping with a new guy. He was allowed to get drunk, but as things went on it was made clear to me that I wasn't allowed to have fun, or a life.

After a few months of him sleeping with or chatting to other men, I started to get screamed at, humiliated and made to feel paranoid- he loved seeing me so weak. His other favourite game was to push me to my limits so I'd shout back, scream, run away or lash out- so he could hit me, throw things at me and then say I started it. I was told this is how a normal gay relationship is, how the police wouldn't do anything as we were gay- or worse, I'd be in trouble because I had started it. I continually sliced my arms and skin open as a release, and he would squeeze the scars to make them bleed more and laugh or scream in my face as I cried.

But I loved him. He hurt me, he isolated me and told me nobody else would want me. So I had to love him- who else was there? Love shouldn't hurt, and I was about to realise that.

It was coming up to my 18th Birthday, and I had a big party planned. Fancy dress. Friends over. Drink and lots of dancing! He was late, on purpose. He refused to dress up. He refused to talk to me. He wanted me to get everyone to leave. I ignored him and continued to have fun with my friends- but as most people left, I paid for it. I tried to hug him, he tried to shout at me. He punched me in the stomach. Suddenly I saw white. I had this warm feeling of anger I had never had, rush over me. I wanted to kill him. I really did. I had suffered at his hands for so long and I wanted it to end. I can honestly say if it wasn't for my amazing best friend who heard the screaming, I don't know if I would have come out alive or if he would have. She was my angel.

This was the final wake-up call. I was humiliated someone had seen what I was going through and humiliated I lost control of myself which gave him more of a hold over me. One day a few days later, I was clearing through some things and found some old school work. That was my 'aha' moment. I woke up. I realised if I could achieve back then, I can achieve now. I was worth something then, I am still worth something.

I packed my bags...as much as I could physically carry. Then stalled. I binge ate- my new coping mechanism instead of self harm. He came home. For reasons I do not know, I begged him to make everything better, something I'm ashamed of now. He put me in his car, drove me to my parents and left me. I do not know if he had realised how he had destroyed me, or if a higher being was helping me that night, or even if he thought i'd just come running back. I didn't.

It took years for me to get over him. I continued to see him, I wasn't ready to cut all ties. But then one day, I knew I was ready- and, three years on, I haven't spoken to him or seen him since. I guess he was an addiction, and like many addictions- no matter how much you know it is bad for you, sometimes it takes a while to break free. Some people never do.

Looking back, I wish many things. But I can't change them. I should have pressed charges, I should have left sooner, I shouldn't have moved in the first place. I've come to be grateful- grateful I got out, grateful I am alive, grateful it made me who I am. I am a work in progress, although I have rested my demons and am ready to forgive- I'm not perfect and I still get haunted by it, but my life of living in fear is over, and I will help others with what I went through. I do not want sympathy. I do not want judging. The only thing I want is for this story shared, to have made a difference in someone's life.

If any of the above sounds like you, or if you are a friend and you suspect anything. Speak up. Get out. You can get over it, you can rebuild your life and you will be free.

Love doesn't hurt.

HH x

Help and support: Click Here

Email me: Click Here

Being single ain't like Sex & The city...

2012-01-17T12:07:00.000Z

We have all had them. And many of you will continue to have them. Yes. I'm talking about bad dates and bad relationships. I am grateful to have found someone I truly want to spend my entire life with, and luckily for me, he feels the same.

Today I wanted to share two short date/relationship stories with you, it's nothing heavy- I'm not going into the really bad one, just something to remind you of how great it is when you find someone, but also to those out there, like me for many years, who believe their future will be spent living alone, eating Cheese Footballs and talking to your pet hamster...it really doesn't turn out that way. Eventually, and it does take a while, you find someone who will eat cheese footballs with you and buy you a parrot...so at least it talks back.

Exhibit A) The Disappearing Man
I had been seeing this guy for quite a while now...2/3 months I think...had met on Twitter, and he was a nice Jewish doctor. Mother was proud. For the record, we aren't Jewish- just wish we were. He had given me the most beautiful hamper full of my favourite things for Valentine's Day and even told me he loved me. I didn't say it back, because...well I didn't love him...liked yes, love- no. Anyway, a week after that whilst on my way to meet him, a little text message popped up explaining how busy he was...and that he was dumping me, he won't be coming to see me and (the finishing touch) he was changing his number so I couldn't contact him again. Well. The resulting evening was spent drinking two bottles of wine, eating enough Chinese food to feed China itself and singing along to power-ballads whilst my friend patted my back. I still get annoyed to this day. I didn't even like him that much, I think i'm more annoyed that he beat me to it.

Exhibit B) Tequila...I've never had it since
You know that moment when something just isn't what you expected? Yeah. Those pleasures of internet dating. I met this guy online (hadn't learnt my lesson) and he looked plain beautiful in his picture. We arranged to meet at a local cocktail bar, I hadn't been so excited over meeting someone for a while, I swing open that door, stride up to the bar and...his picture was clearly ten years old. I'm not ageist. But this was something else. However, I am an eternal people-pleaser and I couldn't just walk out on him, so I graciously accepted the offer of a drink- a LARGE vodka martini. We chatted and he was genuinely nice, but things just didn't add up. He kept passing off his picture as recent and he was one of those members of society where lying is second nature. Everything he said was a blatent exaggeration or complete lie, and I hate lying. As the conversation went on, the drinks kept pouring and after an hour and a half I was completely shit-faced. I don't want to encourage heavy drinking, but tequila really was the way forward, so I went on to have a few shots. When I realised I had forgotton his name, it was time to leave...I tried to be polite and say a fond farewell, but as soon as I stood up I went over the table. My gracious exit was not going to be possible. Ever the gentleman, he helped me get up off the floor (apparently I'd been there a while, my bag had become a pillow) and held onto me as I staggered out the door. Trouble was, I couldn't find a cab or a bus...or the ability to walk home, so I had no choice but to ask for a lift. Ten minutes later, after stopping as I thought I was going to be saying hello to my tequila again, his delightful, brown Skoda arrived at my house. I stumbled into my lounge and immediately fell into a deep sleep on my sofa. He had been so sweet and polite, despite me getting hideously drunk. Funnily enough, I never heard from him again.

The above two are from my very large catalogue of dating disasters, I've been stood up far too many times- I eventually got used to the sympathetic bartender's looks as you insist to them you are meant to be drinking alone and are just repeatedly checking your phone for fun. I have eaten so much on dates I haven't enjoyed that I end up unable to walk without waddling slightly. Not forgetting the time one boyfriend went on holiday for two weeks without telling me...a missing persons report later and he came back suitably tanned, wondering what I was bothered about.

At the time, and up until recently, I was bitter. Still bitter, angry and maybe a little psychotic. But then I realised that all those awful dates and relationships happened, most certainly, for a reason. Apart from the fact that they clearly made me very determined, (who else would put up with all that shit and not considering becoming a monk), they also led me to the happiest relationship of my life.

What did I learn? I learnt that I wasn't afraid to put myself out there, get hurt, humiliated and tired and yet still carry on- knowing my Prince would come and I learnt that I had to be positive to get through it. But also, oddly enough, I learnt that not having a boyfriend isn't the end of the world, and as soon as I let go and was ready to just be myself- no more chasing, I found the one. I had to release the pressure, and the fear, and just go with it.

I went with my life and whatever the big plan was, I did everything I could to make myself happy and in the right place and suddenly, because I was happy and giving out positivity, it was paid back to me. I found someone who compliments me, and I compliment him. I do not want anyone to complete me. None of us need anyone to complete us. We are whole as soon as we are happy with ourselves, and do not have a gap that needs completing by another being. What we do need, however, is that one person who will support that whole complete you, no matter what. Don't always think that person needs to be a lover- it can be friends, family, neighbours or work colleagues- we all have someone who will support our being, even if you don't realise it yet.

So if you are dating right now, or considering a big relationship change- before anything else, love yourself, be happy with yourself and let go of the fear- be that positive force and you will get back so much in return. Don't forget to say thank-you, even on the worst date, for you know only goodness is around the corner.

And definitely...don't drink on a first date.

HH x

Our energy

2012-01-16T11:58:00.001Z

Energy. It causes arguments around the world, but I'm not talking about the electricity making kind. I'm talking about the energy we all give and take from the world around us.

As y'all know, I'm a fan of Oprah. A big fan. I have spent this first week of unemployment watching my new Oprah boxset (Christmas gift from the soon-to-be mother in law) whilst furiously writing then re-writing application forms. This blog isn't all about Big Mother O, but does pick up on the theme of her talk on the final episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show before she ran off and opened a whole darn television network of her own.

I quote...

"You are responsible for your life. ... You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you're responsible for the energy that you bring to others....Remember physics class? Did you pay attention to Newton's third law of motion? Let me tell you, that thing is real. It says for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

I believe all of us can feel energy around us. We've all talked about atmosphere, "there was such a buzz, a great atmosphere at the party" and we can also all tell when we have walked into a room at the end of an argument, or if those people have been saying things about you, you would rather not hear. That is energy. That is really feeling the room and it's space.

It's being able to form friendships- we all know instinctively who we are going to be friends with, who is on 'our side' and who is the enemy...okay we shouldn't judge at first impressions, but we can tell with our hearts who we like. Something told me before meeting my best friend, that I wanted to befriend her, it resulted in a shared cigerette (the smoking days), followed by wine, followed by eating out and ultimately she was the one who rescued me from an abusive relationship. It was her who came in and stopped things, she stood by me and moved me along and never let me down. She became a source of positive energy. She was honest, I was honest back. We argue, cry, laugh and drink too much together. Hopefully her positive energy has bounced from me back to her:- I try my hardest to always be there (living 200 miles apart at the moment is making it difficult), I make sure a week never goes by with at least some form of communication and I hope she does indeed win that Oscar one day and I'll be the first to cheer her on and the first to calm her down.

But that is a small part of good energy. What about the bigger picture? Smiling as you pass someone is guaranteed to brighten their day. Scowling is only going to make it worse. When you give out positive, you receive positive. I suppose it's another form of karma...but it's true, you only get back what you give to the world. The most logical example being, if you work hard at your job and you truly love it and feel positive around it, you will get a promotion, a raise or even just a well done from the boss. If you don't put too much effort in, hate it and feel negative about it- not only is your morale going to go down but bad moods are contagious! You bring your work colleagues down, taint any good news and ultimately find yourself with no praise, raises or even a smile from your boss. Now that really isn't good news.

Sometimes though, bad moods and bad energy just creep up on us. We can't always avoid them, shit happens. Which brings me onto my second quote, by the wonderful Maya Angelou, when Oprah was sobbing uncontrollably on the phone to her over something gone wrong, she told her to say 'thank-you' and when Oprah asked why, she responded with...

"You're saying thank you, because your faith is so strong that you don't doubt that whatever the problem, you'll get through it. You're saying thank you because you know that even in the eye of the storm, God has put a rainbow in the clouds."

That quote blows me away everytime, and not because I am particularly religious, but because I think it works for everyone. Whatever belief, faith or religion, it just makes sense. Say thank-you. Go on. when life is weary, and tiring, and rubbish, and you see no way on. Say thank-you. Be thankful that you know things can only get better. Be thankful that you have this life. You have a life so full, so tiring and so busy- it's something to be truly thankful for. Ask yourself what can you learn from this? Why did this happen and how can things get better? Don't waste your time being angry about it. Be grateful and find a solution.

I won't harp on about them again, but have you actually tried a gratitude journal? Use a notepad, a computer, smartphone, voice recorder or even an iPad. Write down what you are grateful for, and start to look for even more to fill that journal with.

One day, you will no longer have to worry about bringing positive energy into your world. By saying thank-you, even in the darkest of times, you will be a positive force. And just you wait and see, as slowly as the sun rises, as the leaves turn brown in Autumn and as slowly as the tortoise won that race- all that positive energy you gave out will start to come back to you in dividends.

HH x

More info:

- How to be a positive thinker: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Be-a-Positive-Thinker-Ask-Deepak

- Oprah's last show: http://www.oprah.com/showinfo/The-Oprah-Winfrey-Show-Finale

I'm BACK!

2012-01-10T12:26:00.000Z

Happy New Year! Yes, I've been gone for a while but I'm back and ready to blog!

To give you an update...

October to January was crazy crazy at work, and now my temporary Christmas shop has closed, I actually have time to myself even if it is currently taken up with job hunting. I basically couldn't switch off, hence my last few posts on here were quite depressive- I found myself being taken over by work and as much as I loved it, I also resented it towards the end, so now it's closed I suddenly feel like a new person...albeit a jobless one.

Also...WE GOT ENGAGED. Yes. That beautiful man of mine got on one knee with a (Tiffany!) ring and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. Of course after hysterical squeeling/shaking/lots of kissing I said yes and we have already booked our venue for 30th November 2013- it had to be a Christmas wedding for us!

Christmas itself was perfect, lots of over indulging and a bit too much champagne, but absolutely perfect spent with family- I really do love watching people's faces when they open our gifts (provided they like them of course)...it was the best Christmas yet.

So what's next for me? Over the new few weeks I'm spending most of my days applying for job after job- now we have a wedding to pay for and buying a house this year we can't really survive without me having one! I'm still continuing my counselling course and this will be taking up my days but VERY excited to be property hunting too...I'm one busy homo!

Will be writing again very soon, and I'm glad to be back!

HH xx

What Christmas means to me....

2011-11-10T15:27:00.001Z

Currently I am sat listening to Christmas as sung by Michael Buble and Barbra Streisand whilst my first Christmas Cake of the season is baking in the oven (only another 3.5 hours of baking to go!) and I plan on reading some more of my first Christmas novel of the season next, and maybe watching a festive film after that.

I told you I love Christmas.

We started playing Christmas music in my shop yesterday and despite the few groans of staff over it being too early, I couldn't help but notice that we all walked around with smiles on our faces and a spring in our step. Now I know not everyone shares my obsession with the Season of Santa, in fact many people hate Christmas- but fortunately they aren't in the majority. So what is it that we all love about it? We all have our different reasons but what is it that Christmas means to you?

When I think of Christmas I immediately go back to my childhood and what an amazing, magical time of year it was- I was blessed with a childhood that, at least in that one week of the year, everything was perfect, happy and carefree. My first memory of Christmas is of helping my mum roll out pastry for mince pies and then sprinkling icing sugar on top of them after baking, like a small dusting of snow. This may explain why I now always make my own mince pies and never buy them- the memories come flooding back as soon as I open the jar of mincemeat. Not forgetting the Christmas tree. My mother was somewhat of a perfectionist over 'her' tree- all I was allowed to do was pass her the decorations to go on it, she did the actual decorating every year and it did always look fabulous and as perfect as can be. It turns out I am now exactly the same, and for the past four years nobody has touched a single decoration on my tree except me- it has taken a lot of courage to agree to letting the other half help me this year. A lot of courage.

Of course, like most families, every year too much food is made (and consumed), Grandparents insist you shouldn't have got them a gift but secretly pleased at the same time, and Dad ends up asleep in front of the TV Specials.

But this Christmas, I will have my beautiful partner sandwiched between us all on Christmas day. This is the first time I've had anyone there on Christmas day other than my immediate family and I'm pretty darn excited- the rush on Christmas morning, the champagne before 9am, the quarreling over the prawn cocktail (same starter for the past ten years from mother) and the eternal battle of the TV remote when I want to watch Coronation Street but nobody else does.

Bless my boyfriend. He has no idea what he has let himself in for.

HH x

Next Time:- Delia's Classic Christmas Cake

Christmas Makes!

2011-10-19T12:17:00.001+01:00

Today is the day I get the keys to my shop- so going to be a busy busy boy! After my last post I got a lovely message of support and care from a teacher I had in college- it really cheered me up! I do get down, yes, but everybody does and she made me wake up and realise how appreciating life makes you feel better. I had been ignoring my gratitude journal for a while so am starting back on it just to push my mood back up- and it's working. Gratitude Journals are so important- how are you all getting on with yours?

On Sunday I spent the day preparing a few bits and bobs for Christmas...I prepared my pastry and froze it ready for mince pies (using a Delia Smith recipe as always, but a top tip is to freeze the butter and lard and grate it into the mixture- it stays colder and is easier to blend). So I made enough for 72 mince pies and it's bagged up, ready in my freezer.

Next I started work on my Christmas Chutney. I have never made chutney at all before- what an experience! I followed a spicy recipe from Anthea Turner's Perfect Christmas (chopping 1kg of onions was not fun!). I think it went well...it smelt odd at first but once left it smelt sweeter and quite tasty- there was lots of cranberries and mixed spice, leaving a heavenly smell around my house that reminded us of Christmas!

So after hours of simmering on the stove, it reached it's perfect consistency and I jarred it all up, just getting some wax seals today to make sure it's airtight and lasts in time for gift-giving at Christmas. I will also cover the tops in cloth and find some pretty, festive labels so they look that extra bit special.

Finally, I followed a recipe from Good Housekeeping (November issue- out now) to make "Merry Berry Liquor". This was so simple! All you do is add frozen mixed berries to rum, caster sugar and vanilla extract, stir well, seal and then just leave until you are ready to bottle it.

Stir every few days and once you are ready, pour through a strainer into sterilised bottles and label with festive tags. Another Christmas hamper present ready!

My Christmas cards I started making a few weeks ago are also almost ready so will be sharing those very soon!

Have a great day everyone!

HH x

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

My Journey

2011-10-13T12:11:00.000+01:00

I've been absent for a while again. If i'm honest with you all, which is what I want this blog to be about, I had writers block and found myself without the motivation to write.

Over the past few months I've had a bizarre mental shift happen:- even though I have everything I could want right now, and am 'happy' I keep thinking back to awful moments in my past. I have no idea why or where this has come from, but it has. All of a sudden I'm finding it hard to be happy without feeling guilty.

My past is somewhat distressing. I will go into details on here one day, when I feel the time is right and I'm ready to share. I know I'm not the only one who has experienced what I went through, and I know that by sharing my story I will help others. But I always used to be able to talk very openly about it (except to family, which is a barrier I need to get over), and all of a sudden, at a time during my counselling training when I should be open about things, I clam up and I can't be. Hence why I've just organised an appointment with a psychotherapist to help me get past this barrier. And going for counselling or psychotherapy is something I am really not ashamed of, and am quite happy to talk openly about. It is also something I need to have, I can't help others in a psychotherapy office if i'm not balanced and clear in my state of mind.

In terms of my future career- How do I know the route I want to take? How do we all know what our calling is in life, or when we are doing a job that is right for us in our heart and soul? I will take a quote from Oprah here which best describes how you know if what you are doing is right for you:- "what you are doing gives you energy instead of depleting it." It's as simple as that- you should be receiving energy from it, not letting it drain you- leaving you feel fed up, tired and unappreciated. No matter how physically tiring something is- you should still feel alive and energetic from doing it (very much how marathon runners get a positive energy from doing something the rest of us would find grueling and hard to handle).

Helping people, or at least wanting to and training for it, gives me energy. It's tiring but I feel alive and excited by it. In a previous career working for a well-known mobile phone company, I always felt emotional and tired- and not tired in a positive way. Always pushed to your limits purely for a big company's greed or an Area Manager who never thought of anyone but themselves- it wasn't for me, even though I managed nearly three years there! Leaving that job was the best move of my life, and despite the nature of the job I made some great friends who are still with me today.

So here I stand, at a huge crossroads in my life. Except I know the route I want to take, there just seems to be a lot of traffic in the way. I hope over the coming weeks that traffic will start to clear and I can move on with my journey.

Am I Good Enough?

2011-10-04T14:28:00.001+01:00

I've finally found a moment of peace to write an entry! As you all know, my life has been manic recently, and I'm just adding more to it everyday- I was offered the opportunity to open and manage a Temporary Christmas Store for the company I used to work for, here in Plymouth. I always thought I'd turn it down if the opportunity arose but my gut instinct was to say yes straight away- and I couldn't ignore that. Luckily I get to have Christmas & New Year week off, so here I am opening a shop in ten days time! Exciting!

I also started my counselling course over the weekend, helping me get one step closer to my diploma in counselling and psychotherapy- I can't really describe completely what it was like. I didn't realise it at first, but it was incredibly emotionally draining, bringing up discussions of school-life and my childhood, yet it felt easy to speak to people I had only known for a few hours so openly. It was refreshing, and utterly eye-opening.

As well as the new job and new qualification, I also start training to be a listening volunteer for a national mental health helpline on Wednesday. I am one busy boy!

Oddly enough though, I am not tired, nervous or scared. I'm so excited and thrilled. I am doing things that I'm in control of and am trying so many new things- its waking me up! There is something different about entering these new ventures right now. As a child or teenager we enter new experiences with such trepidation- will we fit in? Will anyone like me? It's often said that at "the root of all anger is self doubt" well the same goes for fear in a lot of cases- the constant question of 'Am I good enough?'.

I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I am full of self confidence. Because I'm not. I look in the mirror and cringe- never find an outfit, hairstyle or body shape that I am 100% happy with. I write posts on here or in my gratitude journal and cringe at myself as I think I sound ridiculous. I always find myself socially awkward- either talking non stop or being so quiet nobody includes me.

But what I can sit here and type is that I'm not the only one. I'm not alone. I believe all of us are programmed to be a little self-indulgent and never seem to look at the bigger picture- we walk into a room full of people we don't know and yet for some reason think we are the only one who is terrified and not comfortable with the situation. We all say the wrong thing. We all critique ourselves in the mirror. We all cringe at something we write; whether it be a blog, text, email or Facebook.

And for that fact, I do love me. Not in an egotistical way. But I love me. I have faults. I have plenty of things i'd love to change and I'm working on them. And for recognising them, still loving myself despite them and working through them, I'm happy. After all- you can't love anybody else unless you love yourself first.

HH xx

My Christmas Wall Chart

2011-09-29T17:54:00.001+01:00

Does planning for Christmas fill you with complete dread? Always end up rushing at the last minute and vowing that next year will be different?

Well I have an idea that should help you get super-organised: make your own Christmas Wall Chart! It is cheap, easy and fun as well as helping you get all prepared for that magical, most exciting time of year. I have spent this afternoon cutting and sticking after raiding my local stationary shop...all you need is an 2 A2 size sheets of paper, two types of coloured card, glue and a marker pen.

First off, measure out 61 pieces of coloured card, arrange 30 on one A2 sheet and 31 on the other. I decided to use different colours on the weekends and different for weekdays to make it easier to plan at a glance, write the day and date on each card with the marker pen (leaving plenty of room underneath to write your plans on) and then stick them all to the A2 sheet. Done! Just repeat on the other sheet, 30 cards for the November A2 and 31 on the December A2.

Now you can fill in all your dates and plan when you want to send cards, wrap, decorate etc. and you are already on your way to one stress-free Christmas...and I promise you, it really does help having this planner made and set up far in advance!

Have a great day! HH xx

Quote of The Day

2011-09-28T11:46:00.000+01:00

"There's always going to be bad stuff out there. But here's the amazing thing- light trumps darkness, every time. You stick a candle into the dark, but you can't stick the dark into the light." - Jodi Picoult

Happy Birthday to me!

2011-09-28T11:27:00.001+01:00

As you may have seen from my Twitter feed, yesterday was my birthday!

On Monday I spent the whole day baking as if my life depended on it- I made a White Chocolate & Mascarpone Cake, Millionaires Shortbread and Triple Chocolate Biscuit Cake (I like chocolate). We all enjoyed them last night, and considering it was the first time I'd made them all they all turned out reasonably well!

For the White chocolate cake I used my fabulous Chocolate book by Maxine Clark (available on Amazon) and it took about three hours in total with lots of separating eggs and melting chocolate into the cake and a hint of White Chocolate Coffee Syrup from Whittard of Chelsea. It turned out very dense but deliciously rich and silky sweet!

The Millionaire's shortbread was very rich but yummy- any recipe online will do, but I used a mix of Cadbury Bournville and Cadbury Dairy Milk for the topping to give it a marbled effect...we just kept eating more! Finally, the Biscuit Cake is incredibly easy- melt a load of chocolate with 2 tablespoons of milk (I put too much in by accident and it didn't set properly- oops!) when that is almost cold, mix in slowly with broken digestives and white and milk chocolate buttons and then poor into a greased tin and leave to set. That simple!

As you had probably guessed- I had a little time off Weight Watchers to enjoy cake and chocolate- and I'm glad I did.

Have a fab day! HH xx

The Big Three

2011-09-23T10:47:00.000+01:00

The top 3 things I have been loving this week...

Party Down

Have just caught this series on my TiVo Box- it's hilarious! Anyone who has the chance to watch it (it available on TV Choice On Demand on Virgin Media) must watch it! It stars Jane Lynch, also known as Sue Sylvester in Glee, plus a host of others and tells the story of a group of out-of-work actors working as party caterers as what must be the worst catering company in the world! It kept me smiling and giggling after spending long days at the hospital.

The NHS

As I mentioned earlier, with my boyfriend being poorly in hospital and I don't know what we would have done without our National Health Service. It's not fault free, but it is still an excellent service and We owe his life to them. Thank you.

Messenger: The Amazing story of Mattie J.T. Stepanek & Heartsongs

I could type for days about this book, it is genuinely life-changing and inspiring. Whatever mood you are in, whether you are on top of the world or having a tough few days- read this book and you instantly feel different. We all have so much that we can learn from Mattie and his story and I could not recommend this book anymore! Available here.

Have a great day, HH xx

Dear 11 year-old me...

2011-09-22T11:12:00.000+01:00

1) Relax. Those feelings you think are alien, those feelings that make you different, weird, an outsider. They are fine. They are you. Some boys like girls, and some boys like boys, and no matter what anyone says to you or how they taunt you- it gets better and you will be accepted by everyone who matters and end up in a loving relationship with everything you could ever want (there are a few shit ones in the mean time though, but they make you stronger).

2) Never give up on your dreams. Follow your heart, you know what you want to do with your career and your life and in the upcoming years you will meet people who try to stop you or discourage you, but do not listen to them. Do what you want!

3) Your parents are probably right. I hate to say it, but it's true. Listen to them, they aren't being mean or unfair, they just love you and want the best. You will start to realise over your life that most of the time if you follow what they say- things turn out well, if you do the opposite it normally goes wrong and then you have to listen as they say 'I told you so' in their own polite way. They always support you in whatever you do, so don't ignore them. Although on that odd occassion that they are wrong and you are right, revel in it and make full use of saying 'I told you so' back to them.

I wrote this short blog entry based on one of the same title written by Heather Grace-Stewart on her blog at www.heathergracestewart.com and will be in her next published poetry collection, which will be available, as well as her previously published works, on iBooks. Thanks Heather for your kind permission to use this base.

What would you tell your 11 year-old self?

Quote Of The Day

2011-09-21T12:14:00.003+01:00

"The happiest people are those who are too busy to notice whether they are or not." - William Feather

Busy Busy Busy

2011-09-21T09:49:00.000+01:00

Hey everyone, sorry I have been absent for two days- as some of you may have seen via my Twitter feed, my beautiful boyfriend got admitted to hospital on Sunday night for emergency surgery to remove his appendix, he was quite ill! The surgery went well, and he should be home with me tonight, I am really missing having him around the house again. Also a huge thank-you to all the lovely messages we got through Twitter wishing him well, it meant a lot to both of us.

It was yesterday whilst sitting with him that we both started to think about how lucky we are to have the NHS in the UK. We all moan about it, and of course there is room for improvement, but it really is an amazing service. We live in a country where we don't have to worry about paying for healthcare, or missing out because we can't afford it- we are genuinely lucky- it went straight into my gratitude journal last night, as did Mattie & Jeni Stepanek.

You may have read an earlier post, if not- go have a look at 'How To Be Grateful', about Mattie Stepanek. His mother messaged me and told me all about their book about his life and his 'Heartsongs'- it finally arrived from amazon.co.uk and I have had plenty of time to read it whilst in the hospital, and I am so glad I ordered it! I've learnt so much from this book and from his life, it lifted me out of my panicky, stressed state and I feel like a different person already for reading it.

I haven't got too much to write today, what with rushing between the hospital and home I haven't had time to cook much, and have only lost a pound in two weeks of Weight Watchers, and it is completely my fault- I just haven't had time to prepare healthy meals and the food available in hospital shops and cafes isn't the best, so this week I'm really pushing myself to lose a lot more! I will be posting you details of all my cooking fun this week, going to try out lots of new Weight Watchers recipes so I'll let you know how it goes!

I shall post tomorrow with an update on the patient, and hopefully something more interesting to write! I also plan on starting to make my Christmas Organiser this week, which will be a challenge!

Have a great day, HH xx

Thought for the weekend...

2011-09-17T10:15:00.000+01:00

“The greatest boundaries that we face in our lives are very often the ones we ourselves create in our minds.” - Ellyn Spragins

I give you...my toilet!

2011-09-16T20:23:00.001+01:00

I thought I'd give you an update on my toilet! Quite a lot of you commented about me decorating our boring upstairs toilet in photos so here we are so far....

HH xx

Something Different!

2011-09-16T19:38:00.001+01:00

I thought I'd post something a little different today! No recipes, no advice on well-being and no moaning. I may even start doing this every Friday if it's popular (my pageviews are always very high on recipes though, so obviously some of you out there are cooking what I type!)

Today I'm going to talk about three things that I love and can't live without this week, hence the name:- 'The Big Three'. And then at the bottom, I'm going to make a wish-list, of things I want and either can't get hold of easily or that are a little out of my price range right now...enjoy!

The Big Three

Peace From Broken Pieces by Iyanla Vanzant

This book is an incredible, uplifting read. Fan's of The Oprah Winfrey Show will know Iyanla already, but in a nutshell:- she was a relationships expert on the show but left suddenly to take up her own show, this failed, her husband left her, she lost her multi-million dollar fortune, became homeless and then sadly lost her daughter to cancer. Tough huh? Her book is so inspiring and she is such an amazing woman:- it teaches you how to come to terms with whatever you are going through, or is just a riveting story on how we can all learn to appreciate our lives a little bit more. Available here...

http://amzn.to/pa8U1d

Unstoppable Katya

What an awesome blog! There is lots to read, learn and be inspired by in this blog, amazing how much influence and impact one seventeen year old girl in the US can have on us all. www.unstoppablekatya.com

Potato Wedges

I posted the recipe for these little beauty's on here last week as part of the ultra low-fat chilli recipe. I can't stop cooking these! They are so easy, so yummy and so healthy- much better than McDonalds salt-encrusted fries that are dripping in grease!

My Wish-List

Baker's Edge Lasagne Pan

I am desperate for one of these! It is perfectly designed to fit full lasagne sheets in, no snapping, no pieces, just nice neat food! I just can't seem to find it in the UK! http://www.bakersedge.com

Stars & Stripes Rug

I really want a big stars and stripes rug for my lounge, but one that is affordable and not a ridiculous amount! I'm going for an Americana theme, but at the moment there isn't much American about it!

Low-fat peanut butter cookies

I love Peanut Butter cookies, but unfortunately my recipe is very high in fat (but delicious!)...can anyone recommend a good recipe that is Weight Watchers friendly?

If you can find any of the above, or want to give any feedback on my blog, then just email homohomemaker@gmail.com or Tweet me @homohomemaker

Have a fabulous weekend, HH xx

Quote of The Day

2011-09-15T20:00:00.000+01:00

"This is who you are now, which is not who you were before, and which is not who you will be soon" - Richard Panek

Super-soup

2011-09-15T14:52:00.001+01:00

I made soup today! As you all know- I'm on Weight Watchers, and decided I needed to take more control over those hunger-pains rather than just ignore them and be miserable, so I created a zero point soup to fill up on whenever I get hungry and don't want to use my point allowance!

To create this filling and ultra healthy soup you will need...

- 5 medium/large carrotts diced
- 1 whole cabbage, stripped from the stalk and shredded
- 1 large onion, diced
- 1 large broccoli head
- 2 courgettes diced
- lots of green beans!
- 1 teaspoon of lazy garlic
- 2 Knorr vegetable stock cubes
- 1 teaspoon oregano

Mist a large non-stick pan with calorie controlled oil spray and fry the diced onion and carrots in the teaspoon of lazy garlic.

Once the onions are soft and starting to brown, mix up both stock cubes with 1litre of boiling water and add to the pan, stirring in the onions and carrots well.

Add the rest of the ingredients, except the courgettes, and boil until the vegetables are just turning soft then add the courgettes and the teaspoon of oregano and boil for a further 10 minutes.

Once taken off the heat, pour mixture into a blender and blend until smooth.

All done!

This whole process should only take about an hour (right from chopping the vegetables through to eating!). It is so easy and delicious, and you can fill up on it whenever you are hungry so you don't eat crisps, chocolate etc.

Enjoy! HH xx

Tummy-bugs, Affairs & The Vatican

2011-09-13T19:16:00.002+01:00

Well, had my first weigh-in...only lost half a pound! But it was to be expected after the weekend, but I am really pushing myself this week.

Other half is also poorly and is off work so he is around to interrupt my day (I say that with love, I enjoy the company even if I can't get too close in case I catch it!) so I've not really had a very productive day today. However our 200 photos we ordered from snapfish arrived...we have decided to decorate our upstairs toilet in floor to ceiling photos:- as we are renting at the moment until we find a place to buy, we can't paint this dull room and I couldn't think of a better place to display photos- after all everyone uses the toilet throughout the day!

I was going to start cooking more this week, even try baking some Weight Watchers cakes and biscuits but as I will be the only one eating whilst my man is a poorly man it seems kind of a waste?

Anyway, on another topic...this morning I had the "pleasure" of listening to some idiot from the US who has created a website to help people who are married have affairs...basically a dating website for married people. Sick huh? What struck me the most about this, is that he is from the same country that still hasn't legalised gay marriage on a National level and is now setting up his website in the UK which also hasn't legalised gay marriage. And no, Civil Partnerships just aren't the same. But he wants to ruin the sanctity of marriage by promoting extra-marital affairs. But gays can't marry because apparently that is just wrong.

Someone please explain this to me? It's okay for straight couples to have a website that enables them to cheat out of their marriage (if they are that way inclined), but loving gay couples, who are no different in their feelings to a straight couple, aren't allowed to get married?

It is also becoming increasingly obvious that the government are doing nothing in this country to move forward legalising gay marriage. Civil Partnerships aren't equal to marriage. Gay couples aren't allowed any religious readings. Straight couples can. Gay couples aren't allowed to have their partnership ceremony recognised on religious ground. Straight couples can. And so on. Not forgetting the Roman Catholic Church's vile attack against the Scottish government on legalising gay marriage earlier this week- this coming from the same institution that told African's in the middle of an HIV/AID's epidemic not to use condoms as they were against God's will. So God would rather them catch a disease which killed over 1.8 million people in 2009 alone, and is still on the rise every year rather than a decline?

This is not an attack on religion. I believe in God. I believe that the Roman Catholic Church has a relevant place in our society....well one day when it finally wakes up and see's the real world and recognises that society has changed and religion sometimes needs to change with it.

All this makes me wonder...does our government actually listen to the opinion of the majority, as in a recent poll only 34% of Brits were against Gay Marriage, or is it being bullied by old fashioned institutions into keeping outdated laws?

BBC News article on Roman Catholic Church's stance on gay marriage - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-14878719

HH xx

Quote of the Day

2011-09-13T09:17:00.000+01:00

"The only way to get what you really want is to let go of what you don't want."

- Iyanla Vanzant

Gratitude Journal

2011-09-12T12:16:00.000+01:00

Well what a weekend! Me and the other half spent the weekend with friends at a beautiful wedding on the Cornish coast...what a day! It was stunning from start to finish and we were so proud to be able to share that day with the happy couple.

On a small sideline...Weight Watchers didn't do so well, we started off pointing and counting everything and being very well behaved but as the drinks kept flowing and I met my daily and weekly point limit I just stopped counting instead of stop drinking. Bit of a point fail there. Terrified of putting on weight in my first week!

What I have learnt from the weekend and from posting on here recently and some of the lovely comments I've had via Twitter, is something I touched on with the Mattie Stepanek post. Being grateful, but also to be more thankful. Mattie's mum messaged me after that post, and thanked me for talking about his teachings. Why me? Shouldn't I be thanking her for sharing his story with us all so openly? What struck me is that she is thankful for everything she had with her son, what his short life taught us. She never regrets, she doesn't get sad, nor angry or bitter- she is just thankful for having spent nearly fourteen years with him.

Years ago Oprah launched 'gratitude' journals, and I've decided this is something I need to get myself started on. It kind of teams up perfect with what Mattie taught us about gratitude and not taking things for granted.

All you need is a notepad/sketch-pad and every night before bed write down five things that you are grateful for that you have seen throughout the past day or past week. Over time you will find that your journal can expand to include pictures, receipts, newspaper cuttings, quotes- anything that you have noticed over time that makes you feel grateful. Slowly as the days go on you will find that you will be actively looking for things to be grateful for, therefore your days will start to have more of a positive outlook to them.

Go on. Try it. I promise it will change your perception of your life. To try and get your started on yours, I thought I would share my first five entries:-

I'm grateful for...

1) Being accepted. I've moved 300 miles away from family and other friends, but I've been accepted by everyone here. All of my partner's friends have taken me under their wing and made me feel accepted and welcome, and 'one of them'.

2) The sea. Isn't it beautiful! We watched the waves come crashing in from the wedding venue at the weekend, and it is so calming and awe-inspiring.

3) Laughter. Side-splitting, belly-aching, joyful laughter! There is nothing better!

4) Chocolate Brownies. BUT. Only the ones I had last weekend. A friend made some for the wedding and seriously, there really are some foods that are worth a major gym work-out just to burn it off. Just that lovely, squishy, gooey chocolateyness. Delicious! (I told you I had food issues!)

5) My TiVo Box! Okay. I know this one is very materialistic but I am grateful for it! It just makes me quite happy sometimes, it does everything, it beats Sky+ hands down....if I'm honest I have no idea how we coped without it for so long!

So there we are. I want you all to give this a go tonight....even if you don't have a pretty journal for it yet, use anything to write down everything you are grateful for until you get your journal. You will go to sleep feeling happy and calm and wake up feeling alive and ready to take on the day.

What will you be writing?

HH xx

Quote of The Day

2011-09-09T15:56:00.000+01:00

I have taken today's Quote of The Day from today's Oprah.com newsletter...

“Since at the beginning and end of our lives we are completely dependent on the kindness of others, how can it be that in the middle we would neglect kindness to others?” - The Dalai Lama

Slave to food

2011-09-09T11:11:00.000+01:00

Anyone else seen Claire Richards: Slave to Food? This new series on Sky Living follows the Steps former band member on how yo-yo dieting and her addiction to food had changed her life. Plenty of people spend their time ridiculing Claire or others, saying that food addiction isn't a real problem, and they just need to go on a diet and stop moaning.

Wrong.

Losing weight has never been easy, and never will be. We watched Claire cry over her weight, laugh at herself and panic over a photo shoot, in-between weight lifting and trying desperate measures such as putting charcoal over her food (on Sarah Harding's advice) just to get an extra stone off. My heart went out to her. Between the laughter and the jokes she made about herself you could see real pain in her eyes, and that is something I, and many other viewers, could relate to.

I'm not pretending I am morbidly-obese, but I could lose a few stone hence starting Weight Watchers. Before meeting my partner though, like many people losing weight, for me it was purely from a vanity point of view, now i'm actually concentrating on my health and why I need to get healthier. But it sure as hell isn't easy, having spent the past year eating practically what I wanted, when I wanted- I'm now having to change these habits and make healthier choices.

Since being a child i've always struggled with my weight and have been a bit of a yo-yo dieter, and like Claire says in her series I love food, and I love eating. I eat when i'm stressed, when I'm happy, sad, relaxed, angry etc. There isn't an emotion I feel without a food to go with it. For example, a celebration- why not have a takeaway and some wine? Feeling sad- chocolate would cheer you up. Me and my best friends always laugh that we seem to remember events only by the meal that we had to go with it, and I am known for a good buffet at my parties, in my eyes that is easily the highlight of any party. My life literally revolves around food sometimes.

Food is an addiction, and many of us are slaves to it. No matter how much we know we need to lose some weight, or we know that second slice of cake is bad for us we still go ahead. And then usually feel guilt at some point later, when you eat more to hide that feeling. It's one horrible cycle. Food is an addiction which is hard to break. It tastes good and is hard to give up, as you can't just go cold turkey like you can when giving up other addictive substances- you need food to survive!

That is why I chose Weight Watchers. I can't give up food for some extreme diet, I don't like milkshakes very much, I don't want cabbage soup and I'm not pouring charcoal over my dinner. Yeah, I may be paying a fee to be weighed and yes it is as easy as calorie counting but I need that pressure. I'm investing in this financially and having a points system is so easy for me that half the time I don't even think I am on a diet. But it's more of a life-change than a diet.

I'm ready to fight my addiction and win. I don't want to be a slave to food anymore.

Watch Claire Richards: Slave to Food on Sky Living, Wednesdays at 9pm.

HH xx

Quote of The Day

2011-09-08T09:44:00.000+01:00

"How I wish we lived in a time when laws were not necessary to safeguard us from discrimination. "

- Barbra Streisand

Ultra Low-fat Chilli & wedges

2011-09-08T09:29:00.001+01:00

Last night I made my first weight watchers meal, and it was a lot tastier than I expected it to be and is so simple and basic, anyone can cook it!

You only need:-
200g Quorn Mince
1 large onion chopped finely
1 yellow pepper in chunks
1 green pepper in chunks
1/2 pack of mushrooms chopped
1 can of kidney beans
2 cans of chopped tomatoes
1 heaped tablespoon plain flour

4 large potatoes

and spice-wise, I added crushed chillies, garlic and lots of chilli powder plus salt and pepper to taste...I haven't put specific measurements as I like chilli really hot but others don't so it's down to your personal preference.

Fry the quorn with the garlic and crushed chillies in a little olive oil or a few sprays on cooking-oil spray. Once brown and soft, add the onions and mushrooms and half the peppers. Allow to simmer and soften, add the kidney beans with chilli powder and then the chopped tomatoes.

After simmering for twenty minutes, add the rest of the peppers and more chilli powder if desired. Then leave to simmer on a low heat for at least 45 minutes.

Whilst the chilli is simmering, chip your potatoes and spray with low calorie cooking spray and add herbs if you like. Put in a roasting tin ensuring all wedges have been coated and roast on 200 degrees for about 45 mins or until brown and crispy.

Once your wedges are done, add a little salt and pepper to your chilli and the flour and stir in well until thick.

And that's it! So easy, I can guarantee anyone can do it...and it is very filling.

And if you are following Weight Watchers this WHOLE MEAL is only 7 points!! If you serve this with salad it can stretch to four people or just wedges and it serves 2 for 9 points.

Have a great day- and I hope this helps if you are ever in need of an easy, quick and very low fat meal.

HH xx

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Quote of The Day

2011-09-07T17:51:00.000+01:00

As my entry today had so many uplifting quotes in it, I wasn't planning on doing a quote of the day, but as that post got the biggest number of hits so far, I felt it right to share with you my favourite quote so more of you can learn as much as I did when I first heard this...

"Let's celebrate failure! Think about it...some of our brightest successes are born from overcoming our biggest failures." - JK Rowling

How to be grateful

2011-09-07T11:33:00.000+01:00

Everyday I learn a little bit more about myself, and most important of all how to be grateful for all my life has to offer.

We all have moments of complete and utter despair, annoyance and anger at life and everything it throws at us, but how often do we look at something and be completely grateful for it? I read an article a few weeks ago on Oprah Online about how to get over a bad mood in 90 seconds, and believe me it really does work- but what I got the most from that was looking at how we all need to start being more grateful over those moments when things are truly lovely. For example instead of getting depressed that summer is over and it's turning into a colder time of year, focus instead on how amazing it is watching leaves physically change colour, and look forward to what Autumn and Winter bring:- fun and games at Halloween, it could be yours or friends' brithdays and of course the excitement of Christmas.

Or how about at work, really noticing when people say 'hello' brightly or answer the phone with enthusiasm, instead of focusing on the times when you haven't met your deadlines, you don't get on with someone you work with or you are just plain tired! It's difficult to start with but once you put yourself in that bright mindset you will suddenly find life has a whole new meaning to it.

Recently I watched an interview with Mattie Stepanek, and he put the whole of life, and how grateful we need to be for everything we have, into perspective. He made me realise we need to choose to live our best lives, that living life to the full is a conscious choice that we all need to make, and he made me realise this when his last sentance on his deathbed was...

"Choose to inhale, do not breathe simply to exist".

That line stayed with me. This was a boy who met death face to face and walked away from it on numerous occasions and in his life he spent every waking second writing poems, or as he called them- Heartsongs, about how we need to appreciate what we have, live life to the full and promote world peace. He wrote his first poem age 3 and is now being officially being considered for sainthood by the Catholic Church. Mattie spent his whole life in a wheelchair, hooked up to a ventilator but this never held him back, or stopped him from becoming a New York Times best-selling author for all seven of his books. He died age 13.

What Mattie taught millions of people around the world changed lives. Be grateful. Appreciate everything life has to offer. Mattie "played after every storm" and we all need to learn to do the same, when things get tough, when terrible and awful things happen in the world or to us personally we need to choose to take that breath afterwards and appreciate everything life brings us. Never stop being grateful.

For more information on Mattie Stepanek and what he and his foundation is continuing to achieve visit www.mattieonline.com and those Sky and Virgin Media viewers in the UK can see Mattie's story on Oprah's Most Memorable Guests on DivaTV.

I'll leave you with one more quote from Mattie...

"While we are living in the present, we must celebrate life every day, knowing that we are becoming history with every work, every action, every deed." - Mattie Stepanek 1990 - 2004

HH xx

Quote Of The Day

2011-09-06T13:46:00.001+01:00

"If you cringe at the idea of looking at yourself in the mirror- with or without clothes- how can you possibly present yourself to the world? I passionately believe that it's time to silence your harshest critic- you." - Laurie Redmond, life coach

I need to admit something...

2011-09-06T13:43:00.000+01:00

I hate clutter. I hate mess. I hate untidiness. But the problem is, I am extremely untidy, messy and have a lot of clutter.

My poor boyfriend has no idea what he has let himself in for with having me live with him. It honestly takes such willpower to clean and tidy, but as I am home so much right now I have no excuse! I noticed at the end of last week and the beginning of this as there were still boxes all over the house with rubbish that I had accumulated over the years that my mind was completely and utterly over the place, I couldn't focus, I kept losing my train of thought, I was tired and fatigued and all because of this mess!

It is completely true what they say with the whole tidy house = tidy mind. So from today I am making such a huge effort to keep things tidy and in their place, but also to stop hoarding things! I found receipts from items I had purchased over four years ago, just because the place I bought it had some sentimental value. I need to get a grip right? Memories are important, I get that, but they are memories. They aren't going anywhere just yet. So why do I have such issues with holding onto those relics from the past? Either way, I shall be watching myself over the next few months and keep you updated on my progress towards a more de-cluttered and organised life.

In other news...

As you saw from my blog last night, we had kugel and fried chicken for dinner and it was lush...wasn't so fun spending fifteen minutes scraping my slightly burnt-on kugel out of the bread pan. Top tip for next time- wrap it in greaseproof paper!

I also had a delightful message from the talented Stephen Fry with his thoughts on my blog (they were good comments) and I will share that with you one day once I have his permission to post it publicly.

Weight Watchers begins tonight! We aren't cooking this evening so tomorrow I'll do a post on a weight watchers recipe, want to try something new and exciting so if you have any ideas then let me know!

Speak soon,

HH xx

Kugel & "Fried" chicken!

2011-09-05T20:25:00.001+01:00

Well, tonight (after having a nervous breakdown post putting up Ikea furniture) I decided to chain myself to the kitchen and cook one of my favourite dishes of cheesy potato kugel before Weight Watchers starts tomorrow night.

This recipe is from the fabulous http://www.jewishrecipes.org - that website is a must, even if you aren't Jewish (as I am not) as it has hundreds of recipes of every kind, another favourite being chocolate and apple sauce cake. Delicious!

Recipe Ingredients:
3 pounds peeled and shredded potatoes
4 eggs
salt and pepper to taste
5 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, chopped
2-1/2 cups Cheddar cheese, shredded
Preheat oven to 350° F (175° C). Grease a 9 x 5-inch loaf pan. Place potatoes in a colander and squeeze out moisture.

In a large bowl combine eggs, salt, pepper, oil and onion. Place potatoes and cheese in the bowl and mix well. Pour mixture into the prepared loaf pan.

Bake at 350° F (175° C) for 1 hour. Raise heat to 450° F (230° C) and bake for 5 to 10 minutes until browned, serve hot.

Makes one 9 x 5-inch loaf

Now then. This was yummy as always, but I am still to make it turn out like a "loaf", it looked like a congealed mess, but who cares- it was lush!

To go with it I steamed some spinach and then made quick and easy parmesan "fried" chicken (oven baked but tastes fried) which is crushed ritz crackers mixed with parmesan and parsley, you dip chicken breasts in olive oil or melted butter/margarine and then roll them in the crushed cracker mix.

Bake for 45mins on 200 degrees and voila! Yummy, moist, crispy chicken! And that recipe was thanks to the Big Oven App for iPhone.

In the next photo the kugel tastes a lot nicer than it looks:

We are both very very full, and now very ready to start weight watchers! From now on you may find my recipes have fewer calories in...but I will throw in the odd cake here and there, otherwise life would be pretty dull without a few treats and I have a new Cadbury Chocolate cookbook I am giddy to test out!

Speak to you all tomorrow!

HH xx

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Quote of the Day

2011-09-05T12:17:00.001+01:00

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough." - Oprah Winfrey

So it begins...

2011-09-05T10:02:00.000+01:00

Well...I've tried writing this first post many times, thinking I needed to be witty, or serious, or brutally honest from the get-go. Then I realised this is really just an open diary so I just need to be me. And that is a lot harder than you would think.

My name is Andy (AKA The Homo-Homemaker), I moved out of home when I was 16, more on that in a later post, and have worked since then throughout my A-Levels and then working my way up through retail until I ran my own shop by the age of 20. That was a place I had always wanted to be (maybe I have issues with wanting to be in charge, after-all I am extremely bossy), but once I got there I realised it wasn't the place I wanted to be. Annoying huh? So I gave up this stressful, busy life to move in with my gorgeous partner in Plymouth, and am currently enjoying a beautiful career break whilst I retrain in psychotherapy and counselling.

That is the story so far in a nut-shell. I am no domestic god. But I have big plans to be. Why did I do this blog? I think the world needs to see another side of the gay community. So often we are portrayed as drug-taking, heavy drinking and bed-hopping and whilst I don't judge people for their own choices, that sort of gay lifestyle isn't for me. Yes, gay men can be a bit boring and enjoy being in a monogamous relationship which is a bit more like me (although partying is always welcome, and I probably drink far too much wine).

I want to be 100% painfully honest with you all about every aspect of my life. Simple as.

For example here are a few cringing truths:

1) I love Barbra Streisand (stereotypical I know), I own every single one of her films on DVD, countless albums and I plan to design our future house around hers. If she can build a street under her house just for fun, why shouldn't I?!

2) Oprah is my god. I subscribe to O Magazine, I have the Oprah iPhone App, I never miss re-runs of The Oprah Winfrey Show. It's a deep-rooted love.

3) I love take-out. Not gonna lie. Chinese food is the best, and I guiltily love McDonalds, but after putting nearly 3 stone on in the past 10 months I start Weight Watchers tomorrow. Gulp.

4) I can't poach eggs without specialist equipment, I can't make pancakes and I can't cook a roast dinner. Not a great start to being a homemaker, but I shall learn. I can however cook a mean honey cake with cream cheese frosting, vodka and pancetta spaghetti, and chocolate peanut butter cookies so fattening you have heart palpitations just looking at them. But I can't appear to do the basics such as poaching an egg.

That's that for now. Today on my agenda I have a world of cleaning and unpacking boxes (I have just moved in) and I shall be blogging later with my escapades on making either potato and onion kugel or cheese and spinach lasagne (I'm not Jewish, just have a love of Jewish cooking).

And I know you are waiting on the edge of your seat for these events.

HH x